


Clowns, Guns, and A Cute (Possible) Necromancer

by Anonymous_Cupcake



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bad Flirting, M/M, Meet-Cute, Necromancer Okumura Eiji, Nothing changes except for more demonic clowns and less brain cells, Pining Ash Lynx, Scary Clowns, Technically a West of Loathing AU, alternate universe - cowboys, they try their best, yeehaw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27818269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous_Cupcake/pseuds/Anonymous_Cupcake
Summary: The most decent bounty hunter in the West, Ash Lynx, is on the hunt for a necromancer wanted for grave robbing. A simple enough job, except for two problems:1. He has to go through the Circus, which is filled with demonic clowns who he may not be on friendly terms with (and can ya blame him? Demonic and clowns are two words that should never be combined.)2. The necromancer is actually pretty cute and might not actually be a necromancer (god his hair looked so damn fluffy).
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx & Shorter Wong, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	Clowns, Guns, and A Cute (Possible) Necromancer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [awesomecookies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomecookies/gifts).



> Happy holidays! I dont know when its thematically appropriate for cowboys but enjoy some dumbassery and somewhat flirty Eiji  
> (Also, I got a server for people who want updates about my work or if you just want to chat about Banana Fish!  
> https://discord.gg/SfWtu25bbH)

"Do I even want to know what happened?" Ash asked as the faux sheriff let Shorter out of his cell. She shook her head disappointingly, and that was all Ash needed to know.

Shorter groaned and stretched his arms. "I owe you one."

Ash waved his hand dismissively. "If I wasn’t here for bounty hunting I wouldn’t have bailed you out."

"Damn. That’s cold, bro." Shorter whistled, grabbing his hat from the small box on the sheriff’s desk. Hearing what Ash was here for, she ripped off the WANTED poster on the wall and handed it to him. 

"I recommend taking this crazy guy with you." she told him (and Ash realized he should probably learn her name at some point). "He’ll blend right in."

Ash scoffed and glanced at the poster. It seemed like a simple job, some necromancer was wanted for grave robbing. His eyes, however, were focused on the reward.

"This seems like a lot for a grave robber." Ash pondered. Shorter peered over his shoulder and whistled again upon seeing the price.

The sheriff smirked. "Yeah, but there's rumors he's in cahoots with the guys up near the Gulch. That's why I recommended that crazy guy you're with." Just hearing the phrase "near the Gulch" made Ash freeze up. There was only one gang past the Gulch.

"Fucking clowns." he muttered. The sheriff pat his back, clearly enjoying her chance to torment the West's most decent bounty hunter.

"Good luck."

Most of the gangs that hid North were captured by Ash and Shorter at some point. It was where Ash had come across a destroyed campsite, which led to finding a clown campsite, which led to the Circus. It was the only Circus currently in the West, and Ash hoped it’d stay that way for the rest of his life.

"Barnaby Bob’s Perfectly Normal Traveling Circus Sideshow." Shorter read the sign above the tent. He gave Ash a thumbs up. "Seems perfectly normal to me."

"You haven't seen the shit that goes on in there." Ash warned, grabbing the colorful hat he stuffed in his bag. Shorter didn't know the dangers that lurked in the Circus, and why would he? Most clowns beyond the West were normal.

These clowns? Real, demonic as fuck, clowns. They were the ones from Hell, that were in a war with the cows before the Cows Came Home.

Course, Shorter wouldn't know that.

Swapping his usual hat for the tacky one, Ash walked up to the ticket booth. They know his name and his opinions of their kind, but after spending years of his childhood afraid of them, it was time for a little payback while it was still possible.

(He's not so immoral that he'd kill a clown though. The hat was from a hunter that specialized in it.)

"Hey." Ash said. Shorter stood behind him, eyeing the hat as he tried to figure out why it looked so… off.

The clown, busy twiddling his thumbs and not paying attention, put on a fake smile and glanced up.

"Hello! Welcome to—" he paused once he saw the hat, his face pale as he recognized the color and Ash's cold eyes. The smile quickly turned into a frown. "You'd do good in the Circus with your sense of humor, freak."

"As if I'd join your messed up gang of cow obsessed psychos." Ash retorted. He couldn't help but smile seeing a clown so unnerved. The appeal of messing with Barnaby disappeared fairly quickly so he had to settle with the next best thing. It was at this moment that Shorter's face went pale as he muttered "Clown skin hat."

The clown chuckled and stared at his partner. "Guess you've never seen demonic clowns before, huh?"

Ash rolled his eyes. Once they went into the Circus they'd have to be careful, especially with the one slightly bigger clown that guarded one of the tents. There would, ironically, not be time for fun and games. This was the only clown Ash could consider weak. The rest? Chaotic evil bastards that wouldn't hesitate to off them for fun.

"We just want to see Barnaby."

"Figured. Partners get in free and you already paid so get what you need and leave. Oh, and," The clown smiled, showing off rows of yellow, jagged teeth.

"Get rid of the hat, would ya? The others aren't fans of it."

Ash tipped the hat before taking it off. "No problem." He stuffed it into his bag and put on his usual one. He put his arm around Shorter's shoulder and whispered "Stick with me, got it?"

Shorter, terrified of his newly acquired knowledge of demonic clowns, simply nodded.

Ash sighed as they walked inside, his fear catching up to him as they stepped into danger. A few seconds of music replayed on loop as he looked around the small area. The clowns were preoccupied with their stalls, not paying attention to them. Shorter was staring in awe and fear.

"Holy shit." Shorter whispered. Ash removed his arm and walked towards one of the tents. The big clown wasn't there for once, and a few alarm bells went off in his head. He reached for his gun and heard Shorter crack his knuckles in anticipation.

He peeked inside just as a knife hit the board on stage. The show had begun. They slipped inside, catching the attention of the big clown. He made no move to stop them, just frowned and focused on Barnaby.

Barnaby looked somewhat fancier than usual today. He had a new top-hat made out of silk that was tilted rakishly. Ash couldn't care less about Barnaby's odd hat, his attention was on the poor sap that participated in the show.

Shorter nudged him. "Isn't that the guy on the poster?"

He was right, the necromancer was part of the knife-throwing act. He looked different from the poster, though. His hair was messier, a few locks of hair fell off when the knife hit close to the side of his head. He had this protagonist aura to him, wide eyed but none of the determination. Instead, he settled for an ice cold glare, similar to the one Ash gave Barnaby when he had to join the act. He didn't have the tell-tale signs of someone who dealt in necromancy, like brittle bones and clouded eyes. Ash's opinion on him was based on his experiences with Yue. Granted, he wasn't even competent enough to match the skills of other necromancers.

Bless the kid who was sticking by his side. Dealing with someone who's more interested in things beyond this realm rather than the people in front of him was a challenge. 

Enough about Yue. The show wasn't over yet. Shorter watched in awe as Barnaby showed off his knife skills. Only once did he look them directly in the eye. He threw the knife while staring them down and the possible necromancer didn't flinch, even when it looked like it was about to stab him in the eye. Ash was still trying to figure out if this guy was a necromancer. He seemed like a normal grave robber, but he didn't even look like a grave robber!

Who cared if he looked like a grave robber or not? Ash just needed the money, and he was going to get it whether or not this guy came willingly.

(He could admit the glare made him look insanely hot.)

His face flushed at the thought, but he ignored it as Barnaby released the guy. He rubbed his wrists but other than that, kept the stone cold glare. Barnaby grabbed his hand and raised it high.

"What a performance! I haven't seen anyone stare down a knife like that since the time the Lynx bared his fangs! Give our star, Okumura Eiji, a round of applause!"

The crowd cheered and clapped for Eiji, Ash and Shorter included. Shorter seemed impressed, but Ash knew Barnaby did the show for a reason.

He was most likely giving Eiji a warning.

That would make sense if the rumors were true. He probably pissed off Barnaby and he wanted to make sure the warning stuck.

Eiji quickly got off the stage and grabbed his cloak from the bench closest to the stage. He wrapped himself in it and walked off, a gust of cold air following him.

Beanslingers usually had a warm aura, like you were near a fireplace. Whatever warmth he had was snuffed out and replaced with a chill you'd only get if you learnt something you weren't supposed to learn. If he wasn't a legit necromancer, he had at least dabbled in the art.

Shorter noticed the chill too, but he was more focused on Barnaby, who was staring the both of them down. As the crowd began to file out, Ash noticed the big clown jab a finger at the back entrance. He got the memo and led a nervous Shorter out back.

Barnaby was already in his trailer, admiring a necklace made of cow fangs that was put on his desk. It might've been Eiji's work, working with clowns meant you'd be against the cows. Ash sold cow parts he'd collect to Barnaby to keep them off his back when he stayed in the area.

Now they really had to be careful. Ash had been on good terms with the Duke of Hell for this long, but there were a number of things that could make him change his mind.

Barnaby looked up. "Ash Lynx. I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon. Any bounties for me?"

"It seems to me like you already got plenty."

Barnaby laughed and got up, cow fang necklace in hand. Shorter already had his back against the wall, ready to flee rather than fight for once.

"You're after my second best man?" Barnaby asked, waiting for Ash to back down as he got closer. "Well," he drawled, getting close enough that his mustache was almost touching Ash's nose, "it won't be good for business if one of my best information gatherers was in jail."

"You just called him your second best man and now you claim he's your best?" Ash started. Shorter audibly gulped, but Ash knew no matter how scared he was he wouldn't hesitate to punch the Duke if he had intent to harm. Barnaby smirked and put the necklace around Ash's neck.

"Okumura Eiji is good at subtlety. You're good at making things disappear. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a man that could do both so I'm stuck with you two. If you want to find him that badly, talk to Ms. Barkley."

"We'll be taking our leave now." Ash backed off, beginning to remove the necklace before Barnaby stopped him.

"Keep it on. Give it to Eiji. Tell him not to pull his little stunt again or else he'll be buried so deep it won't matter if he reanimates or not." Barnaby growled. Ash nodded and stepped away, joining Shorter outside. His mohawk friend looked seconds away from dry heaving, so Ash ushered him out of the Circus. Once they put some distance between the place, Shorter finally sighed in relief.

"Holy shit, that was terrifying!" Shorter clutched his stomach, still reeling from the experience. Ash scanned the perimeter for Barkley, one of the clowns that walked along their imaginary border to check for cows. The necklace kept poking tiny holes in his shirt, whatever cows Eiji pulled the fangs out of were vicious.

"S-so, we're looking for someone named Barkley now?" Shorter asked. "She a clown too?"

"She's relatively harmless." Ash assured him, spotting the redhead not too far from their current location. Ignoring Shorter's meek protests, he called out to her.

Katherine Barkley was different from the clowns in the Circus. She was more of a fighter than an entertainer. She was dangerous in her own ways, which was why she was stationed away from the rest. Katherine cartwheeled over to them, kicking up dust along the way.

"Ash! Great to see you!" Katherine smiled, no rows of sharp teeth to terrify them. The only off putting thing about her was her fake eye and the scar over it and even then, scars were common in the West. Her mostly human appearance was enough for Shorter to be put at ease.

"Hey, Katherine." Ash could somewhat trust her, especially after she made it clear what she did and what the others did were separate things. The two did small talk, catching up on what happened since they last spoke. She still couldn't pinpoint the exact location of the cows' hideout and Ash mentioned his search for Eiji. He didn't mention the WANTED poster, only because she'd assume he would kill him and exchange the body parts for his reward.

(Not his fault most people assumed that.)

"Oh, Eiji's cool! He's usually on the other side of the mountains. I didn't see him today, was he here?"

"We just saw him at the Circus." Shorter mentioned. Katherine bit her lip.

"Not good. He did say he was going to do something rash. Mister Duke of Hell probably forced him to stop by and join his knife-throwing act, right?" she pointed at Ash's necklace. "Also, that was supposed to be Eiji's gift to Barnaby."

"He didn't seem to appreciate it." Ash noted. Katherine nodded solemnly.

"He's a good guy. He's trying to break off the deal with Barnaby but he hasn't gotten the leverage he needs to leave. All he can do is send cow parts and hope Barnaby ends it himself."

So he wasn't a fan of clowns either. "Thanks for the info."

"Anything for a friend! You two stop by sometime, it gets lonely by myself!" Katherine sent them off towards the mountains, happily walking off to do her job.

Shorter decided to leave when they got closer to the mountains, still processing the events from the Circus. Ash let him be, he could handle one necromancer. It made more sense that he'd be here. The other side had more cemeteries, mainly military ones. It was a dangerous area because of that, no one liked skeletons with guns being reanimated. Ash wondered if Eiji was a part of the ones reanimating the dead but quickly went against the thought. He already gave off a powerful aura, he didn't need skeletons to aid him.

The cemeteries were his best place to look.

On his way to the closest one, Ash came across a grave digger. A cloak obscured their face as they covered up a recently dug hole. Despite what Barnaby said about Ash not being good at subtlety, he tried to sneak up on the digger. His horse treaded carefully, hooves barely making a sound against the sand. Good samaritans were hard to come by in these parts, especially since death was so common.

The digger stopped. In one swift motion, a twisted dagger was pointed directly at Ash's heart while his gun was aimed for the digger's head. Now that Ash was staring them down, he realized the digger wasn't a digger at all.

"Okumura Eiji?"

Eiji's glare softened upon being recognized. "Ash Lynx."

Ash, relatively safe on his horse, tipped his hat. "In the flesh."

"If I lower my weapon will you lower yours?" Eiji asked, "Or are you going to put a bullet in my head and then arrest me like the others?"

In Ash's defense, he doesn't shoot all of the people he's supposed to arrest. Most of the time they try to kill him first and he wins the fight. It was a fair assumption of his character, and he won't fault Eiji for it. He lowered his gun and stuffed it deep in his bag for good measure. Eiji watched him until both his hands were in the air. Only then did he lower his weapon, sigh, and continue using the shovel in his other hand to fill the grave. Curious, Ash got off and watched the supposed necromancer.

"You do realize I'm supposed to take you back to Dirtwater?" he asked. Eiji hummed and continued his work. He didn't seem to mind, which was weird. Another weird thing was that he was making a grave instead of robbing one. A gust of wind knocked his hood back, ruffling his already unruly hair. With the way the sun was beginning to set, it illuminated his pale face. He looked warm and cold at the same time, an ocean that could be calm one moment and raging the next.

Okumura Eiji was an enigma. Ash found himself getting closer. Eiji huffed and shoved the shovel towards him. Ash looked down to see a skeletal hand reaching out for them.

"It won't bite," Eiji smirked, taking a seat next to the unmarked tomb. "But I've been digging for a bit now and I'd like it done before you arrest me."

Seemed like a simple enough task, and he didn't look like he'd try to run. Ash obliged and jabbed the skeleton hand with the shovel, forcing it back into the sand. Eiji giggled at the sight, reanimated skeletons were still fairly new to the West.

"So," Ash began, "the poster said you're charged with grave robbing."

"And what do you think?"

"I think a guy making a grave wouldn't be the type to rob one."

"You have a good way of thinking." Eiji got up right as Ash finished burying the skeleton. The maybe not a necromancer took the shovel from Ash's hand and tugged at the cow fang necklace still around his neck. "I take it Barnaby didn't like my gift?" he asked, voice low and sounding almost sultry.

Ash gulped and nodded, trying to somehow force the blush on his face to go away. Despite his small stature, Eiji had effortlessly pulled him toward him. Eiji tsked and let him go. While he sounded unbothered before, the fact Barnaby rejected his bounty seemed to dampen his mood.

"Katherine said you're trying to break off a deal with him?" Ash spoke slowly, gauging Eiji's reaction to see if the topic was welcomed.

"Yeah, I don't know why I thought making a deal with him would be fine." Eiji sighed and kicked a pebble in frustration. "I don't even go past the mountains often. But he got word that I've tumbled with cows before and I guess he was curious."

"I stumbled upon his freak show by accident. I only stick around because he pays well for cow bounties." Ash admitted. What was he even trying to do? Make Eiji feel better about accepting a deal with clowns? It seemed so.

Eiji looked him in the eye. "You're still blushing."

"Huh?"

"You're blushing." Eiji stated, and Ash could feel his face get warmer. He laughed, "That's adorable. You always blush around wanted criminals?"

"Only if they're adorable necromancers." Ash retorted.

"You think I'm a necromancer?" From the way Eiji said it, he almost sounded shocked.

"You aren't?"

"Well, I'm not saying I'm not!" Eiji sputtered. "But I am a Beanslinger."

"Snake Oiler, but I guess that was obvious." Ash smiled. He had never been this excited before when talking with a stranger. There was something about this guy that made Ash want to get closer.

"You did read  _ some _ books on necromancy, right?" Ash asked. Eiji nodded in confusion before Ash sheepishly pointed at his hands. "People say Beanslingers always have warmth flowing through them and necromancers are always cold."

"Are you trying to ask me if you can hold my hands?" Eiji smirked, amused at how he had the Lynx wrapped around his finger. He held them out for him. "I don't mind."

Ash hesitantly held onto Eiji's hands. He had always been curious about those seemingly contradicting facts. After all, Beanslingers had a higher chance of turning to necromancy, something about their high mysticality. Either way, Ash let out a small gasp as he grasped Eiji's firm hands.

A mix of warmth and cold flowed through him. Anytime the cold made him want to shiver he'd be taken over by warmth and the cycle would repeat. "Amazing…" he whispered as he unconsciously rubbed his thumbs over the necromancer's knuckles. It was a pleasant feeling, one he wanted to hold onto.

Eiji awkwardly cleared his throat. Ash looked up to see his flustered face, clearly no one's held his hands this long before. Ash let go and stood up straighter than a working mine shaft. He brought his hands to the side.

"S-sorry! It's just… it's amazing." he stuttered. It wasn't a lie but admitting he liked holding his hand was weird. Eiji stared at his hands, and Ash couldn't help but notice how his blush looked like someone sprinkled stardust on his face.

"I've never met someone so interested in my hands before." Eiji admitted. "What's so amazing about them?"

Ash sighed, already missing the feeling. "It's like a mix of warmth and cold— a cycle, almost. Must be because of your existing magical capabilities and the grim from necromancy."

Eiji kept looking at his hands, but the confusion was replaced with wonder. "I never knew that. Thank you."

"It's no biggie. I was curious, that's all."

The sun had fully set by now, and Ash lit the lantern hanging by his horse's side while Eiji used his hand to create a small ball of light. As the moon began to rise and stars began decorating the sky, Ash belatedly remembered what he was there for.

"I don't want to turn you in."

Eiji raised an eyebrow. "But your reward—"

"I don't care about some stupid reward. I can always find another job." Ash interrupted. "I don't know why, but I like you. It's not everyday people can say they've met someone like you."

Eiji's faint blush became more prominent. He reached into his pocket and pulled out another dagger. The light in his hand showed off the  _ EO _ carved into the handle, as well as the dried up blood on the tip.

"I wasn't the one robbing graves," Eiji confessed, holding it out to Ash, "but I found who did. Guy looks a lot like me and was doing business with Barnaby but I didn't know until after the fact."

Ash pointed to the grave they had dug. 

"Was he—"

"Yes."

"And that's why Barnaby did his show." Ash took the dagger from Eiji and put it in his bag.

"Tell the sheriff that and she'll have to give you the reward. It might not be as much as the original but it'll still be something." Eiji told him. Ash started taking off the necklace when Eiji stopped him.

"Keep it. A gift to remember me by." Eiji said, lightly pressing his thumb into one of the fangs and drawing blood. He smeared it on the fang and wiped the excess on Ash's face, thumb close to his lips. "I like you too. Don't die on me, alright?"

A dark horse appeared behind Eiji. She wasn't there before and she seemingly appeared out of thin air, but Eiji seemed to feel her presence. He turned around and mounted the horse, smiling proudly the whole time. Ash was frozen to the ground, feeling like his breath was taken away. With the hood over his face again, the dark horse, and the wind that started to pick up, Eiji didn't look real anymore.

"Let's go, Miyako." Eiji whispered to his horse. Miyako whinnied and took off, leaving Ash alone. He watched until Eiji disappeared into the distance, only snapping out of his trance once his own horse nudged him.

_ What a day _ was the only coherent thought he could make. Ash went straight to bed after that, waking up in the room above the Jewel Saloon with the cow fang necklace staring back at him when he looked in the mirror. For a minute, he thought it was all a dream.

The dried up blood still on his face reminded him it wasn't.

He went to the jailhouse after wiping it off. The faux sheriff had up a sign that read  _ Allie Justice _ . She smirked when she saw him.

"How were the clowns, Lynx?"

Ash took out the dagger and placed it on her desk. "It wasn't him, but he found the guy that did it and justice was served." Allie took the dagger and examined it. Once she deemed it real, she put it away and took out a bag slightly larger than his.

"Nice job." was all she said before going back to ignoring him. Ash took his reward and headed back to the Saloon. He'd have to find Shorter at some point and tell him what happened yesterday, but for now he had to plan his next course of action. He had nowhere to go, and not many people rented the room above the Saloon. Shorter would enjoy having a partner in the West and Dirtwater was certainly more exciting than Frisco. But most importantly, Eiji seemed to live close to the mountains. It would be easy for Ash to find him in the cemeteries.

_ "Don't die on me, alright?" _

Those rich bastards couldn't kill him and Ash wouldn't let the West take him either. Ash lounged at a table as he went over his options. He had enough to pay for maybe two months in advance. If he kept taking odd jobs and killed the occasional cow, he might be able to build a small place for himself. Having decided, Ash placed the bag on top of the counter where the bartender, Lloyd, was.

"Paying in advance, about two months worth."

Lloyd eyed the bag for a second, but he trusted Ash's words. He put the bag away and nodded. With that over and done with, Ash headed out. He had the whole day ahead of him and was going to be busy.

First stop: Reboot Hill.

**Author's Note:**

> Those throwaway lines with Yuesing will become an actual thing at some point because I realize my lack of Yuesing content is a crime. I'd also like to point out that D*no is dead in this AU because it just makes me happy. Hope you liked it!


End file.
